She’s just too sensitive
False. It’s definitely not all in our head
Image by Ralf Gervink from Pixabay
“She’s just too sensitive,” mutters the senior manager, who is prone to angry tantrums when things don’t go their way.
“We need to take feelings out of it to make good, objective decisions,” insists the HR manager, who regularly makes hiring decisions from the golf course.
We’ve all worked with them. The leaders who tell women to toughen up while excusing their own childish outbursts; who preach objectivity while making unconsciously biased choices. These people aren’t evil masterminds deliberately out to get anyone. Quite the opposite. They are upstanding, everyday characters in workplaces across industries most of whom want to do good for our world.
But their arguments are potently hypocritical.
Beneath a pretense of logic and reason, these claims are based purely on emotional reflex.
The actual data tell a completely different story.
Decades of peer-reviewed research show that women experience more workplace discrimination than men. Pay gaps, slower promotions, higher harassment rates, biased performance ratings all persist even when you control for things like actual productivity, qualifications and seniority level.
The “too sensitive” story is backwards.
As much as benevolent sexism would love us to believe it, women don't arrive at the workplace with highly sensitive frailties. The workplace makes us so.
Year after year, the McKinsey report on Women in the Workplace shows that women experience microaggressions far more often than men. Eight out of ten of us adjust our speech, appearance, or behaviour to protect ourselves. And we have to be vigilant to do it.
This heightened awareness is a logical, data-driven, & adaptive response to repetitive & concrete experiences. One that is essential for our survival.